It’s been a simply glorious month, with many warm and sunny days. The trees have been spectacular in their Autumn colours. But now the wind and rain are blowing them off the branches, and even I can’t pretend it’s late Summer anymore. I had a birthday this month, one involving a big zero, and I have to accept that actually I too have reached Autumn. Inside as many have observed before I’m still 18. Outside …. well I see reality.
And the thing is you simply have to adapt. I get tired, I wake up in the night, I ache if I don’t think before I do something… In my case not to try to stretch for something, I have to move myself not stretch or the back says ouch. I can’t eat as much,I get that full feeling faster. As to alcohol, well I always was a lightweight, now more so. And if I have to concentrate on something important, say the tax stuff well I have to do it in the morning when I feel fresh.
No Spring Chicken more an old broiler!
When I chose Balance as my word for 2022 I was thinking of the balance I needed to strike as a new widow. How to care for myself , the home, sort everything out, live well etc. After a hot Summer in which I slept a lot and passed all of the remaining first anniversaries I came bouncing back, full pelt at life. This month I have wondered if I came roaring in too fast. It’s taken me a lot of effort to keep everything chugging along. So far I have managed it, mostly I think because October was a five weekend month, giving me catching up time. It’s been a great deal of fun, outings , grandchildren’s birthdays, interesting talks, a felt workshop, seeing Mary Poppins in the West End, and culminating in a visit to stay with relatives in Cornwall.
When I came home yesterday, it felt good to be back. By the end of this year I will have lived in this house by myself for longer than I did as part of a couple. It’s hard accepting that it’s OK for me to change the house to meet my changing needs, hard to accept I don’t need to feel quilty throwing away or giving away items I have no use for, and even harder to feel good when I break into song, do a jig around the kitchen and feel happy. Providing of course I don’t stretch too far!
It’s good to remember with love, it’s good to feel happy. It’s good to be coping by myself, maybe even finally acknowledging that I am fully grown up. It’s good to have family and friends, to seek and offer help,to live and be grateful for life, to be in balance however it may wobble along, and I do wobble! I suppose balance and wobble are part and parcel of life.
Meantime do follow the link to read how others who choose a word for 2022 have got on. Everyone writes very honestly and with great insight. Link here-https://youronewordblog.wordpress.com
Take care, and thank you for being here. Now I have some leaves to sweep.