Divest-January 23

Divest is my one word for 2023. My aim is to divest myself of thoughts and behaviours which cause stress, procrastination, over reaction and ownership of excess stuff. The objective is to feel more confident and unencumbered . I will be joining Carolyn and others who also use the one word idea to help them reach their goals. Link here- https://youronewordblog.wordpress.com/2023/01/30/checking-in-1-23/

I had a plan in January, and it was a good plan.I stuck to it and made progress,

Step one- draw up a household maintenance plan. I did, it’s based on one I found on this website –https://hoa.org.uk/advice/guides-for-homeowners which I used a lot when we sold our last house and moved here. Just having something to refer too gives me confidence.

More importantly this month I actually started to implement planned maintenance and had the gutters cleared of at least two years moss and leaf debris. Responding to unplanned issues a builder has just finished repointing the porch. Hopefully an end to wet surprises. I mentioned earlier this month a DIY book. It made me think about being a Good customer, which led to more research and thinking about how you approach asking for a quote.The need in particular to specify clearly what the job is. And being able to understand what is happening at each stage. Suffice to say I now know more than I expected to ever know about bricklaying and pointing – especially about … well you don’t need to know the ins and outs. The thing is if you understand something it’s not so scary.

Step two- improve mental health and well being– I need to refer back to the book I was reading at the time by Benjamin Bonnetti- How to Stress Less. He is primarily writing about work related stress, but it easily translates into living alone for the first time in your life stress, when you are supposed to know what you are doing. It’s not a Poor you tell me about your dreadful upbringing book. It’s this is Life you can do it book. He talked a lot about flight/fight reaction and what it does to your body. And that after something you need the Three R’s. Rest, Recover and Resolve. To aid that you need to think about food and exercise.

So I have implemented some changes. Breakfast in particular. Gone is my golden syrup laced porridge. In has come yogurt, fruit and seeds. Good news. I am not growing feathers eating “bird food”. At weekends I have toast with honey on Saturday and marmalade on Sundays. Helps me keep track of the days. Can get confusing when you retire.

Step three – was to give up caffeine for a week. It took me three weeks to fully implement it due to lack of decaffeinated alternatives at some of my group activities. I was very grateful for the advice to expect headaches, and to drink water. I did wake up a few mornings with a niggle which was soon dispersed with a glass of water.

Have these two changes made a difference? Well if I think about it there were in the past some days when I felt jittery for no good reason. Since making dietary changes I have not experienced them. So the breakfasts and hardly any caffeine will remain.

Meantime I have tried to move more, and went a lovely walk here by myself.

It was a bit windy!

And just over a week ago I joined a group of ladies on a four mile walk. Stunned to discover I can walk four miles with no after effects the day after. I live in a large town of over 200,000 people, many have moved here for work or like me to be close to family. Many women are like me widows, or single parents, or even stay at home Mums, or moved here for work and know no-one. All needing to make new friends. How? Well a little group got together to start a friendship group using the power of Facebook. Anyone in the group can set up an event to socialise , a walk, coffee and chat, a meal out, a day trip etc. I have been hovering for months and finally joined a walk. And everyone without fail was kind, inclusive and welcoming. I joined in so many conversations and what struck me was how far the topics ranged, from menopause to muslim funeral services!The number of potential friends in the group-2000! Number on the walk 22. That such a group exists in such a big town and that is so inclusive.. brilliant. No joining fees, just the wish to meet people, strikes me as being a Jolly Good Thing.

Step four -divesting myself of stuff. Progress here too. Eight towels gone to a lady who rescues unwanted pet rabbits. A large bag of leftover 4ply baby yarn eagerly snapped up by a member of my craft group ,six recipe books ready to go to a charity shop along with a big stack of books about aeroplanes and railways. My heap of to be reads are no longer in a pile on the landing, they are on a shelf.

Step five-Daily reflections. Mostly in the morning but sometimes at bedtime. How do I feel right now? Well positive, less battered by the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and happier.

Picture below-what happens to a light bulb when the glue melts and the electricity fuses firing the bulb onto your bed, Just glad I wasn’t in the bed at the time as it was a big bang with sparks everywhere.I cleared up the debris, checked the bed and dealt with the fuse box , and then rested, recovered and in the morning resolved the the problem. The 3R’s worked for me.

Finally…

“Just living is not enough…one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower.” Hans Christian Anderson.

I am treating myself to a weekly bunch of daffodils.

I’ll leave off here, I feel the need to make a February plan. Do check out the link for other one worders, and good wishes if you are one of them.

Thank you for reading,

Cathyx