I was reminded the other day that I used to set goals every year. 16 for 2016, 17 for 2017 etc. They got increasingly hard to think up let alone fulfill. Last year I became aware of other bloggers who would choose a word to guide them or focus on during the year, and how it would keep them grounded.
A wise lady , who is the friend of a friend, of a friend, and on Facebook, whom I have followed for a year or so and helped me through these months puts up occasional prompts. Earlier this week she suggested people choose a number from 1-16 and she would give us a corresponding word to help us through the year.
So I did, and my word is Balance to help me build a new life. I had just started to think about balance and what I needed to balance, when wallop, Covid gave me a bash on the nose. All of a sudden my life required immediate action, I needed to rebalance and quickly. No use at all planning knitting projects and trips to wherever, when I needed to just get through the next few hours. Top priority all of a sudden was food, what to eat based on what I had , and how to make sure I had the energy to prepare it. Complete days turned upside down. Yes family would shop for me gladly, but they have enough to do already.
First thought was that the bread would run out, and I have a bread based light meal at lunch time. So I did a quick reccy , I had home made soup in the freezer and the ingredients to make cheese scones. Enough to last me several days.
But it was worth it. The point of this is I realised that often I gave little thought to meals until the last minute, and even if I did then I left it till I was too tired to be bothered by cooking what I planned, and I would scratch some sustenance together.
Exercise is the same. I would start a day thinking I might go for a walk or a swim, but then wouldn’t go.
And then crafting, Oh I love the new project, the shopping the choosing, the starting, the thinking about starting…tomorrow.
I knew after I lost Mr E I needed to meet new people, do new things, and I might, or it might feel too scary, and I’d get cold feet or start too many. I looked at my bookcase, my life was just like if.
Or Topsy Turvey , out of balance, failing to think of the basic building blocks of life in favour of the scatter cushions.
Food and exercise have to come First. Nothing like having to be indoors and not allowed out to make one realise that outside is pretty important. In fact I quickly realised that I needed to be outside to get better. The one single thing,the need for fresh clean air to cleanse this thing out of my system was prohibited. I got up at 4.30am just to stand in the garden and breathe. Yes it was bloomin cold, but five hours later I got that negative first test.
Then I thought about how procrastinating about basic household stuff actually made things worse. All from fear, of what I don’t know. My enormous list now over 30 things that at sometime need attending too.
So my rebalance, would be food, exercise, household maintenance. What else needs to be here? Feeling useful perhaps? I have volunteered to take on Safeguarding for my local church. It’s a commitment, requires some work being quite new to the parish. I try to be useful to my family, supporting them however I can, getting the balance right, leaving them their own space too.
So I have Food, Exercise, Household matters, Being useful.
Mental well being. Well all of the above helps, but we are social beings. The phone calls, text messages, emails, blogs have been invaluable, shouting at the Royal mail delivery driver to leave a parcel in the porch because I had Covid and couldn’t take it from her was not nice. Necessary but not pleasant. I have never seen a delivery driver shift so fast.
Seeing people then, being with others, even if only fleetingly. I had already had a hint of this need through the last few months. Days when I stop in all day long leave me feeling yuk, down in the dumps, blah. Getting out and seeing people then.
Which leads me to that bookcase. The contents of which reflect all the things I am interested in, and would ideally like to spend my days doing. And there the books are in a bit of a muddle. And when I don’t do all the things , again I feel well blah or meh if you prefer.
So Balance will be my word for the year, as suggested. Prioritising the basics before I put the cherry on the top, but never forgetting that the scatter cushions and the cherry on the top are important too.
I’d love to know your thoughts on what I just wrote. I don’t like pretentious b…sh.., so hopefully it doesn’t sound like that. How do you achieve balance? Sorry about the mixed metaphores too, blame the cotton wool covid brain. I do. I am now officially not infectious with Covid. I just need to get over this thing, it was exhausting even with the vaccines. Tessa is coming shortly, to see what trees to get and where to put them. Bit excited. Lot excited, who do I think I am kidding.
Take care, xx