I can’t pretend that Lockdown suits me. Lockdown in the UK was extended for three more weeks , and as yet there is no plan in place for leaving it. We had an email from our removal company telling us there was no chance of us moving at all until sometime /maybe/ perhaps in May or….
I know some people are loving being stuck at home, using the time to be busy and creating things at full pelt. I like being at home, so that is not the issue for me. But I struggle…
Maybe what gets to me is the number of things I try to do just keeping us (husband and me) going, that keep on telling me things are out of kilter- time taken to do things by phone, empty shelves, businesses shut, queues, the news…
I tell myself I am being mean and nasty, people are doing their best, others have it worse. I count my blessings.
Yet the social scientist in me can’t help but ask, just what are we doing, are we rolling over too much, are we failing to question our loss of freedom, the elderly totally marginalised, told they must stay home, that we should give up cash, stop meeting friends, walk in single file round an entire mega store , live in fear of others…. and why are so many dying in care homes, and why have deaths from other causes gone up, and how will children/ pets feel when they have to go to school, owners go to work, what about the job losses, the increase in domestic violence, the sheer cost of all this. The possibilty that we will be compelled to carry phones with us, be monitored everywhere we go. No wonder I struggle.
I gave up yesterday trying to shop local for things, it was making me miserable. So far I have managed to use some smaller on-line outlets for things to help us through these times, for if we only go to one place where will we have choice in the future. Now I wait for sometime when deliveries will be made, left on the doorstep by someone who wishes they had been furlonged, who look at me as if I have the plague, and who knows maybe I do….
Distrust is in the air, and I hate it with a vengence.
On a positive note, my technical camera/compuer interface issue is ok again. The only thing, the only time I feel normal is when I am on a walk
Then I can see a bigger picture
Enjoy seeing animals- I loved that these cows are the same colour as the roof and the wire, it made me smile
the empty track, the space to breathe
the season moving into Spring in all her glory
and even the families we meet, from whom we move to one side for, who look at us and say “Stay safe , both of you”.
and when we return down the same track have left a message of love.
So stay safe and be well, all of you